As I sit here getting Kinley's presents wrapped and put in a box to send off to Utah, I can't help being excited. Kinley is almost 18 months old and Christmas is so much more exciting for her this year than last year! She can eat Christmas cookies, say "ho ho ho," and even recognize who Santa is! Last year she was interested in eating the wrapping paper!
I've heard many birth moms- especially ones who are experiencing the holidays as birth moms for the first time- express their sadness and loneliness this time of year. Maybe I'm a little different, but I am honestly ok with it all! I'm so happy Kinley and her family get to spend Christmas together! They spend Christmas with their extended family, which adds lots more excitement! I'm happy Kinley gets to experience Christmas in a home that has the gospel so rich in their lives. She gets to grow up learning about Christ's birth and learn all the Christmas primary songs at church! She wouldn't get to experience all of this fully if she wasn't placed with her family. Yes she would learn about Jesus and have family, but it would be so much different and all mixed up and separated. I'm so glad she has her family and doesn't have to deal with a broken family!
Christmas growing up was always a time when my parents, brothers and sisters, and I would spend time serving others and spending time together doing holiday things. Like baking, counting our blessings, and making memories. This year I get to start these traditions with my husband and I couldn't be happier! I truly feel I'm in the perfect spot in life. And a lot of that feeling is knowing Kinley is in the right spot as well! Being a birth mom always has it's ups and downs- but I feel I am at the part of my journey when it is mostly ups! I don't feel sad Kinley isn't a part of my holiday, I am genuinely happy she is part of her family's! It brings me happiness, instead of sadness, when I see her with her family!
I love Christmas time for the fact that we can remember our Savior's birth! I hope Kinley will enjoy the season as much as I do when she grows up! There is so much to be thankful for and so many blessed things I have in my life! And the comfort of knowing Kinley is in the right place with the right people is the greatest gift I could ever have! I don't ever have to worry about her well-being because I know with out a shadow of a doubt, she is just fine!